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Oh my gosh, is it December?! Gasp. Where have I been, you ask? I’ve been busy as a bee. I’ve been working, and working, and working. I’m talking midnights at the office people. I’m so sorry, and so sad that I’ve been apart from you for so long! But don’t worry, I’m coming back! Big things are under way. When I haven’t been working at work, I’ve been working on an exciting new project for the new year. So stay tuned, come back soon and check for my big announcement! In the mean time, enjoy your holidays with family and friends and my favorite holiday cookie recipe! It’s great all year round, but in my family, this is the ultimate for the holidays – maybe it will become a new tradition for you!

These are chocolate crinkles, I’m sure you’ve heard of them. They are legendary in my house. Dark, doughy, chocolatey centers studded with subtly crunchy walnuts. Chewy and moist in the center with a lightly crispy, crunchy edge. Rich bittersweet chocolate accented with yummy sweet powdered sugar. They are perfect. Sweet, but not overly sweet. Chewy and crunchy at the same time. Decadent, but not so much so that you couldn’t eat a dozen in one sitting if you wanted to (guilty smirk). Yum. Oh and as you may have suspected, the batter is beyond incredibly raw, but I would never do something like that, would I?

image via bakersroyale

• 4 eggs
• 1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
• 4 ounces unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled slightly (I prefer Hershey’s Special Dark)
• 1/2 cup cooking oil
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
• 2/3 cup powdered sugar

1. In a large bowl, combine eggs, granulated sugar, melted chocolate, oil, baking powder, and vanilla. Beat with an electric mixer on medium speed until combined, scraping side of bowl occasionally. Gradually beat in as much of the flour as you can with the mixer. Using a wooden spoon, stir in any remaining flour. Divide dough in half. Cover and chill for 2 to 24 hours or until dough is easy to handle.

2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Lightly grease a large cookie sheet; set aside. Place demerara sugar in a small bowl. Shape the  dough into 1-inch balls. Roll balls in demerara sugar to coat generously. Place balls 1 inch apart on prepared cookie sheet.

3. Bake cookies about 10 minutes or until edges are set and tops are dry. Do not overbake cookies. Transfer cookies to a wire rack; let cool. (Cookies will deflate slightly upon cooling.) Makes about about 36 cookies.

I might have just shed a tear at my desk. At work. Under the fluorescent tube lights. In the middle of a stuffy downtown LA afternoon, between emails, I caught this video – Beyoncé’s new song, “I was here”. There are often times when I think, “shouldn’t I be doing something that makes the world a better place?” I mean, making things pretty makes the world better ina certain way, but sometimes it just feels like such a small, superficial, silly thing. Really, it’s self indulgent. But, I’m not just ready to ship off to the peace corps, though you might be after watching this.

For whatever it’s worth, I think it’s important make sure that your life has meaning. And I think that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. It may mean being part of a humanitarian organization helping in natural disasters, it may mean going to a third world country with the red cross, it may mean enlisting, and it may mean volunteering for time at an nursing home to play checkers with someone, or with a reading program at a school in a tough area, or at your local shelter to walk dogs. It may mean taking a moment today to make sure you remember the people in your life who are important – your family, your friends – and to make sure that you spend meaningful time with them. It can be so easy to be wrapped up in our warp-speed way of life some times. So stop. Watch this. Check out some local volunteer opportunities. And call your parents.

Here is Beyoncé singing “I was here”, taped earlier this month at the United Nations in honor of  World Humanitarian Day this past Sunday.

I gotta say, there was a moment when I couldn’t stand her voice – but dang, she can sing. And man do I wish I could wear a ponytail like that. My head is just too small … it’s not the same.

Well, this is it. I am counting down the last hours of my twenties. Today is my birthday, but technically I’ve got until a little after 11p.m. before I have to say farewell. Thirty is one of those birthdays that people treat as momentous. It’s this great milestone, this marker for a place in your life where you’re supposed to have reached some great set of goals. And to a degree, I’ve always felt it’s when you’re supposed to feel like you’re a real adult. I think I, as many other girls have, grew up thinking, “By the time I’m 30 I will … be married, have 2 kids, live in a house I own, have all my debts paid off, be in my dream job …” and the list goes on to any number of “adult” achievements. As a college senior, I can remember thinking that I would be engaged a year after graduating, married another year later, and having my first child another year or two later. Had this vision become a reality, I would be celebrating my 8 year anniversary and I’d be the mother of a 5 year-old and a 3 year-old. Could anything be farther from my true reality at age 30? Contentedly, no.

You see, your twenties are this crazy, crazy time when you are always searching – for the right job, the right guy, the right version of you that is really yourself. You just aren’t totally sure yet. About any of it. I’ve spent my twenties trying out a few career paths, a few guys and a few variations of me to find what it is that rings true – even if this grown up me isn’t who I pictured as a girl. And, I still feel no more like an adult than I did back at twenty. But I do feel like I really know who I am and what I want, even if I don’t have those other milestones checked off the list like I thought I would by now.

I also don’t live in a house I own. But I do have my debts paid off and I’m in a job where I am happy. I don’t have that little nest egg saved away like I would like and I still dream bigger than where my career is today, but I guess these along with other yet unachieved goals will roll into my “by the time I turn forty” version of me. As this birthday has been approaching, my mind has wandered often to reflect on where I thought I’d be and where I truly am today, and what’s been most apparent to me is that I am exactly where I want to be. I’m not ready for that house and those children, but I know they’re waiting down the road a little ways – and I’m really excited to decorate it and dress them up in adorable outfits. That doesn’t mean I want to be standing right in this spot a year, or two, or three from now, but I am happy with where my twenties got me. They were the time to figure out what I want and my thirties will be the time when I go out and get it.

So, twenties, I guess this is it. It was really, truly great and I’ll miss you a little bit, but I’ll think of you every day and be grateful to you for teaching to be me who I am today.